Mother's Day

After the birth of our first daughter in July of 2001, I was in the thick of a new chapter of life. A new mom, new city, new house and all sorts of emotions to boot! I hadn’t spent any time thinking about work, or what life as an interior designer would look like in the future, until a door opened and an opportunity presented itself. A past connection reached out to see if I would help select furniture for their newly built cottage. After careful consideration, I decided to take on the project. This was the birth of my company.

My clients lived in Calgary, I lived in Red Deer, their cottage was near Thunder Bay, Ontario. I commuted back and forth Calgary to Red Deer as needed, slowly adding more clients, all in Calgary. Every other week I would pack up my car, baby in tow, and work for three solid days before returning to Red Deer. I did this for five years.

In 2006 we moved back to Calgary, pregnant with our second daughter. While I did ease up on my projects, I never really stopped working.

I continued to work from home as a solopreneur, day and night, in between school pick ups and activities for our five year old, a newborn/ toddler schedule and managing a household. Writing this, I don’t know how I did it. I do recall the feeling of being on a hamster wheel most days, however it’s extremely important to note that I did, AND DO, have a very supportive husband. He has been a huge part of me getting to where I am today.

Tip:

Don’t try and do it all. Ask for help. If you’re like me, I struggled, to ask for help, and still do. The above paints a picture that I managed everything, and I did it well. That was not always the case. I did my best, with the resources I had, and it worked out as it did.

There is a lot of pressure on moms at the best of times. Add in the art of running a business, and expectations and stress can start to surmount. Give yourself grace to do what you can, when you can. Being honest with yourself, as well as those around you, whether it be family, friends and/or clients, is an important part in helping to keep your head on straight.

Imagine each day as a pie. Every item on your to-do list carries a different weight and amount of time required, resulting in each piece of pie cut to a different size for each task. As well, your list likely varies from one day to the next, meaning each day your pie will be cut differently.

It’s ok if one day your work piece of pie is larger than your home or family piece, or your friend's time is larger than your work piece. There won’t be a day where every piece is cut into the exact same size. Recognizing and honouring that will be the best way to find as much wholeness in your day as possible.

Tip:

Be honest with yourself about the amount of time you have to work each week. Consider family, friends, and pure downtime so you can recharge and do your best work. 

As my girls grew up, school drop off/ pick ups and activities dictating my schedule, I worked on the go. Cell phone and laptop in tow in order to work at and in between kids activities, there was never enough time in the day. This method of working was a choice. I chose to drive my girls to school, pick them up and drive them to their activities before heading home for dinner. While this did limit my day, and the amount of hours I had to physically be in the office, I made this work for me and my family. That being said, this scenario may not work for everyone. As a business owner and a mom, it’s important to figure out what is best for you, and your family based on lifestyle, priorities and resources.

Having my own business meant I could, to a degree, set my own hours. If there was a swim meet or dance competition, I was able to allocate my days accordingly. Some days I bit off more than I could chew, and you could say I was completely overwhelmed. Those days were never fun. I realize, not all working moms have flexibility in their schedules, and deciding to start my own business was in large part so I could have this. I wanted both and I made it work as best I could.

There is no straight line in moving from point A to point B. Owning your own business has ups, downs, curve balls, u-turns and obstacles. Getting to where you want to be requires doing hard things, and making tough decisions. Overwhelm is so very common. Rest assured you’re not in this alone! I often feel pulled in a million directions and yes, the mom guilt runs high some days. I’ve learned over the years that this too shall pass.

Tip:

Don’t forget to breathe. Everything is figure-outable and works out, as it should, in the end. I’ve spent hours, even days stressing about how I’m going to get things done. Looking back, it all figured itself out, and life carried on.

With my girls much older now, self sufficient and mostly independent, my days look a little different. I’ve definitely grown alongside my girls, and looking back, they’ve taught me so much about life, and myself.

All of this is from my perspective as a “mom-preneur”, however I wondered how growing up with me has been for my girls, the good and the bad. I asked Ava and Mya, 21 and 16 respectively at the time of this post, a few questions about life, and growing up with a creative entrepreneur for a mom:

From the girls: 

1. What is, or has been, positive about having a working/ entrepreneur mom?

Ava: 

I grew up in an environment of very open, honest creativity. It allowed me to spend a lot of time with my mom, getting carted around to showrooms and projects. I think by way of proximity and the exposure I had to her craft I too developed my own sense of creativity both organically and authentically. 

Mya:

I believe a positive of having an entrepreneur mom, is that I have been able to learn lots about how to run a business and different skills.

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2. What is, or has been hard about having a working/ entrepreneur mom? 

Ava:

Having a mom who does, and always has, run her own business can make it difficult to compartmentalize life. Life is work and work is life and I think it’s easy to allow work to seep into the every day, especially when you're a creative. When business is so accessible to you as the owner, it’s easy for it to become what you gravitate towards in the lulls of life, rather than simply being still or focusing your attention elsewhere. 

Mya: 

The thing that I have found most challenging is how much my mom is away and for long amounts of time. 

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3. What have you learned by having a working mom? 

Ava: 

The importance of authenticity. Being yourself and growing into that. I’ve watched my mom work hard at who she is and as weird as that sounds, not once has she caused me to want to become someone else. It’s okay to try and try again, but the invitation to be challenged by growth is always one you should accept. Authenticity only allows you to learn and appreciate more about the people and world around you. 

Mya: 

Something that I have learned is that it isn’t easy to own your own business. It takes a lot of hard work and perseverance, it’s something that takes a lot of time. 

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4. How do you think this has made a difference in your growing up years?

Ava:

During a significant shift in the trajectory of my life, having my mom available, flexible and inclined to inspire encouraged me to take heart in the growing pains of becoming who we are. Design is just the same, it grows and becomes an extension of the ones who create it, but will always uniquely reflect the client themselves. 

Mya: 

This applies to both my parents, but I feel as though it has taught me hard work, independence, and how to be a strong individual.

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Being a business owner is not a race. Contrary to what the world of social media may suggest, we’re all on a different track. Looking around, you might think some are ahead of you and others are behind, and that’s ok. Everyone is moving at their own pace. As entrepreneurs, we're all in this together. Creating a community of support and encouragement is so important, and celebrating others successes in their time, will come full circle when it's yours. 

To all the working moms out there, whether you run your own business or not. Cheers to you and all you do. I hope this post offers reassurance and encouragement. Running a business is hard work, but it can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. My girls have been with me through the entire life of my business, they know no different. Now that I am (almost) on the other side of child rearing I am so very thankful to have had the opportunity to build a business, and raise our girls alongside each other. I truly believe I’m better for it, and I hope they are too.

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Hello!

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